New Ultimate Cut of Caligula Promises Much, Delivers Little

Malcolm McDowell as CALIGULA, Helen Mirren as CAESONIA

With GLADIATOR II coming to theaters later this year, the year 2024 AD seems a fine time to revisit some 1st-century Rome megalomania. Thus, on paper, I was intrigued by the promise of a new "Ultimate Cut" of the 1979 cult classic film, CALIGULA. Having never seen the original, I was sold on the idea of this new edit that removed the most hardcore bits of pornography and added "never seen before" footage from different angles, convinced that perhaps a thought-provoking tale of a power-hungry emperor might emerge from the ashes. Sadly, my optimism failed me. If only all cuts of CALIGULA had one neck.

To make a long story short, Penthouse magazine founder Bob Guccione wanted to make a high-production epic film that also served as adult pornography. Esteemed author Gore Vidal wrote the screenplay, while Tinto Brass was hired as the director. Unfortunately, these three creatives all had different visions for the film. From all accounts I have read, both Brass and Vidal sought to make a film about the corruptive nature of power, although they had different ideas of how this should look. Brass kicked Vidal off the set and rewrote his script. But Brass later got canned by Guccione, as well. An ironic power play ensued, with the winner being the man with the piggy bank, Herr Guccione, who mostly wanted to shock filmgoers with a porno masking as an arthouse film.

Now art historian Thomas Negovan has culled through newly discovered footage to produce a 4K Ultra High Definition restoration he claims is closer to Vidal's original vision. But with all the promises, even the best editor can only edit footage that's there. Removing the out-of-context scenes of depravity removes some of the eye-searing imagery, but watching CALIGULA – even this tamer version – still had me feeling like I needed to purge my soul afterwards.

A still from CALIGULA

I truly believe there is a thought-compelling movie about Caligula to be made, but it won't be connected to this garbage pile of cheap titillation. This infamous ruler certainly boasts plenty of material to work with. "Little Boots" Caligula grows up as a child of war. Most of his family is murdered for the claims they might have to the throne, and he fears the same fate at any moment. This young man is probably terrified that he will die, but there's rumors that he may become emperor after Tiberius moves on to the Underworld. When he is summoned to the Emperor's side, his fate is unknown. How does this level of uncertainty impact a person's psyche during a time of societal unrest? Even with the new footage, this film, as it stands, isn't interested in interrogating such ideas. There's no true interest in the person of Caligula and how he shaped or was shaped by his circumstances. 

The film includes potential plot points about his internal struggle that could be harvested to great effect. Early on, at the height of his fear, Caligula sees a crow, and he screams, convinced the creature is a bad omen. The crow shows up intermittently throughout the movie, and Caligula's reactions to the crow evolve. Towards the end, the crow once again invades his bad chamber, and this time it's Caesonia (Helen Mirren) who screams. By this time, Caligula has pronounced himself a god, and he no longer fears the crow. Instead, he stares defiantly and offers the crow his ring.

Again, a repeating motif in the story is the sight of Caligula dancing. When he was young, the army dubbed him Little Boots for the silly way he would dance, wearing his father's too-big shoes. Little Boots translates to Caligula. This proved amusing for the soldiers, and the film uses this element to show how people perceive Caligula as an entertainer – perhaps not to be taken seriously. When he shows up in Tiberius' presence at the pool, the Emperor's first command is to order Caligula to dance for him. Caligula obliges, but the order obviously annoys the would-be emperor who is trying to make a good impression.

Malcolm McDowell as CALIGULA, Helen Mirren as CAESONIA

Later on, as the Caligula grows in power and exploits more people, we see him dance as an expression of joy and freedom that he can get away with such deeds without punishment. And like the symbol of the crow, Caligula flips the script right before his death, inviting Caesonia to dance-march with him and mimic his steps. He no longer cares about others' perceptions. Under better direction, these seeds of character development would be pulled out better and used to depict how delusional Caligula has grown. He feels above any law, and in his final hours grows sloppy. The film glosses over any such intrigue and spends most of the time just jettisoning from one shocking scene after another.

Yes, we removed the hardcore porn. If anything, that shines a light on the fact that the film is packed with scene after scene of women, dwarves, disabled people, and people of color enduring horrible humiliations under the hand of Caligula. They are used and disposed of like dolls. Tiberius shows off his room of playthings as a power play to Caligula during his command visit. The masses are forced to endure sexual exploitation, pretending they enjoy the experience. Later Caligula makes his own version of the dollhouse, but with extra panache. And all of this was done before the time of emotional safety coaches or our current wisdom on the difference between the male and female gaze. Lauded mainstream epics knew how to portray such depravity with taste. Consider the many versions of the Dance of Salome, my favorite being Brigid Bazlen in Nicholas Ray's KING of KINGS.

Helen Mirren as CAESONIA

 
I gave room for this violating display, thinking that at some point, Caligula would fall from grace, experience a dark night of the soul, and perhaps see the error of his ways. Indeed that moment happens, but he doesn't change. He doubles down on his efforts. After his beloved sister passes away, he walks among the people disguised as a peasant. He ends up being picked up in a prison wagon and ejected down a giant chute into the local jail. As new prisoners get sent into the meat grinder, they are subjected to a gang-rape from the veteran inmates. None of the guards stop this from happening. Caligula somehow escapes this fate but doesn't help anyone else. He has the emperor's ring, with the world at his command, and he chooses to say nothing. And this isn't even the most disturbing scene in the movie.

Ancient Rome is full of corruption, but rarely is that front and center for an entire movie. In the aforementioned GLADIATOR, for example, Joaquin Phoenix deserves all accolades for his portrayal of Commodus, the new loathsome emperor who murdered his own father to get the throne. Like Caligula, he uses his power for selfish gains and lusts after his sister. He orders men to be tortured and killed. We know his heinous acts, yet the film does not stay in his point of view the entire film. He's a side character.

The negatives of watching CALIGULA far outweigh the positives. The edit itself looks lush, colorful, and opulent. Even watching the film on my television, I could tell a big difference between the quality of older clips available on YouTube. The art direction, costumes, and sets dazzle the eye. And some of the best talent in film history make an appearance with Matthew McDowell as the titular Caligula, Helen Mirren as Caesonia, Peter O'Toole as the aging Tiberius, and the much underappreciated Osiride Pevarello as the deaf-mute Giant. But don't go to CALIGULA looking for "more depth" from this edit. At its best, It's a sensationalist talking piece of film history. If you liked the original, you may enjoy this new varnished edit, but you don't need to watch three hours of someone abusing people non-stop to understand that power corrupts absolutely.

Release info: In limited theaters August 16, 2024. Then, available for purchase.

Final score: 2 out of 5