Solo Living, Yes You Can

Photo by Frank Busch on Unsplash
I was once interviewed on a podcast and given a list of question I should think about to prepare. One of those questions was: What is something you think you do better than most? At the time, I struggled to think of an answer. I could think of a bunch of skills I have, but something I do better than most means I can offer expertise to others that is sound. I finally came up with my answer: I can do life alone better than most.

I am 42 years old, have never been married, and have no kids. This isn't entirely by choice, although I've made choices along the way that contributed to my single status. I truly wish I had a marriage partner, but for me, it hasn't happened yet. One of the things that makes it bearable is my ability to do things alone and not allow my solo state to hold me back from living the life I desire. I have decided to start a series of posts about solo living.

The reason this seems worthwhile is that I purposefully didn't do things for many years because "I'll do that when I'm married." Maybe in my 20s this was understandable, and even in my 30s, but now that I'm in my 40s, do I really want to wait to start attacking my bucket list? Time is fleeting, and although, God willing, I have many years left, there's not reason to wait. Yes, you can take a vacation by yourself. You can buy a house by yourself. You can buy furniture by yourself. There's no reason to wait.

Besides, every person, even if they want to be married, should be able to function alone. I can name a fistful of reasons:

  • In every marriage, one person could die first, leaving one spouse alone. Yes, it's hard, but it doesn't need to leave the survivor stranded. 
  • Even the most perfect spouse will have bad days they can't meet your needs. You need to be an equal partner, not an emotional vampire. Learn to take care of yourself. 
  • It's more attractive to come to a partnership with interests, skills, and things to offer. You don't develop that if you are sitting around waiting for your life to start. 
  • Marriages end every day. If yours happens to -- God forbid -- you don't wand to crumble into a ball. This is similar to bullet point one. 
I'm sure there's more. Feel free to leave comments if you think of something. I'll make this my lead post and link all the topics here to keep the series together. If there's a topic you want me to tackle, leave a comment, and if I think I can talk about it intelligently, I will include it.

Solo Vacationing
Buying a House Part 1, Buying a House Part 2
Going to a Concert By Yourself
Going to a Movie By Yourself