Skip to main content

The L*** Word

Be careful when you say the L* word.  You know the one.  I loooooove this, I love that.  I love him, I love her.  I love cats.  I love french fries.  Oh come on, you know you like to say it.  It feels good to say it.  It comes off the tongue so easily.  What could feel better than saying you love something or someone?

Why do you say it?  That's what I am asking.  What does it cost to say I love you?  It costs nothing.  But does it cost the other person something?  Do you say it to create an outcome?  Do you want them to say they love you?  Do you want them to do something for you?  To make you feel good?  To fulfill your desires?  To know if someone loves you back?  To demand something?

Love is not conditional upon what the other person does.  If that person walks out the door, you will still love them if the love is pure.  It is not pending upon what the other party does.  Love is a gift.  It is given by God and there isn't a thing you can do about it.  Once you love someone the correct way, it is there to stay.  It may change forms, but it is there always.

It hurts when that person you love walks out the door.  That is why people are afraid to love.  They are afraid of being hurt, of being rejected, of not being loved back.  But there is a beautiful secret.  When God loves you, and you know it, you feelings of worth aren't based upon how and if anyone else loves you.  You can love and love and love and never stop loving and never run out of love.  It is a beautiful thing.

So when you go to say I love you, think about your motivation.  Are you saying it to get something or to give?

Now I hear you asking the question.  What is the question?  Well, what is pure love?  Oh, so easy.  I have the answer for you.  Well, I can't take credit.  This is from God's Word, the Bible.  It's a clear, practical description of love.  It's from 1st Corinthians, chapter 13:

 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Wow, that's a tall order.  Do I love people like that?  Not usually.  Can I love people like that?  I can try.  The other day I was feeling sorry for myself because I was thinking that someone I "loved" wasn't making me feel loved, and it hurt.  Then I had a thought.  Did I really love them?  What did I love?  Did I love how they made me feel?  What they did for me?  That's not love, that's selfish and self-seeking.  That type of "love" burns out easily.

The problem is when we turn to other people to get love.  If you turn to another person for love, it cannot sustain the expectation of your need.  You will always arrive empty.  Instead, we must go to the source.  Love always perseveres.  So love freely, love lavishly, love extravagantly, but love wisely.  It's not about protecting yourself from being hurt, it's knowing what love is and what is not.

Love on


Popular posts from this blog

Border (2018): A Dark Swedish Fairy Tale

Have you ever felt like you are alone? Like you exist and move around in a community of people that you are nothing like?

Imagine how Tina feels. She works as a highly competent border guard for the sole reason that her sense of smell is extrasensory. She can smell fear, shame, and any negative emotion on people as they cross through her security area, and she is never wrong about her suspicions. Her work career, however, might be the only thing she has going for her.

She lives on the outskirts of town with a boyfriend that owns a pack of dogs, and from all counts, they live together in a loveless domestic arrangement that is hard to imagine either of them conceiving. Things become a little clearer later as we learn that Tina owns the home and the boyfriend is enjoying the luxury of living rent free. Tina appears to have no family except for the man she calls father, who claims to have adopted her.

Tina is unattractive by human standards and is most often seen staring attentively and …

Movie Review: Gone Girl (2014) and Lessons About Marriage

Gone Girl is a book-to-movie project that only took 2 years to complete, compared to most movie projects, which take an average of four years (Maze Runner, Twilight, and Hunger Games are all examples of this). Once I heard the movie was being released, I re-read the book in anticipation of the movie release. I have to say, the book was outstanding. I work at a library, and many people were checking out this book. Sometimes I am slow to pick up a hot book, just because I can be stubborn. The book took a genre like suspense, and took it to the new level. The book changes viewpoints and storytelling strategies so many times, and just as you think you have finally predicted the ending, it ends in a way that no one could possibly expect.

Only recently did I find a book that compares called The Farm by Tom Rob Smith, released two years after Gone Girl. Suffice it to say, I am not often enamored with adult fiction. Gone Girl is truly special.

I went into the movie with high hopes, but also r…

The Tradition of the Annual Debbie Macomber Christmas Book

My tradition of reading the annual Debbie Macomber Christmas romance novel started like any tradition does -- by my doing something one time, enjoying, and repeating the experience each year. Before you know it, the repeated action becomes a tradition, and you can't imagine life without it. I don't read any other Macomber novels, but I do read her Christmas books. I normally finish them on the 90 minute flight home.

If you aren't familiar with Macomber's line of Christmas books, let's just say they are similar to a Hallmark movie experience. There is always a smart, savvy female who is stubborn and a rugged curmudgeonly man, often the type that would reside in isolation, in Alaska, for instance. He is normally wealthy, and she normally has a career and feels torn by her feelings. The two fight their attraction but, by the end, they just can't help themselves and fall in love. 
I believe my first Debbie Macomber Christmas book was her 2003 The Snow Bride. Just …