Movie Review: Sarah Polley's Away From Her (2006)

Julie Christie as FIONA; Gordon Pinsent as GRANT in AWAY FROM HER

Jesus died for our sins, and we are saved through His blood. Upon this tenet rests the faith of all Christian believers. But just as precious as this gift is the knowledge that God gives us free choice to accept or reject His love and never forces anything in return. Slews of films have made use of the first precept but previous few about the latter. AWAY FROM HER is one of the few that brought this to life for me. Unintentional as this may have been by the filmmaker, I couldn’t help but see the wild pursuit of Christ for His beloved sheep in it's 110 minute runtime.

Away from her is a phrase that Grant (Gordon Pinsent) uses when he explains how he and his wife Fiona (Julie Christie) got engaged. "I never wanted to be away from her." But that is exactly what is going to happen, for Fiona is showing signs of forgetfulness and fading common in a person with Alzheimer's. Once Fiona realizes what's happening, she asserts her choice to move into a memory care facility. Grant protests, but Fiona insists. Her decision baffles even us as the viewer. Usually, we think of family deciding they can't handle being a full-time caregiver, not the one needing care choosing to cut ties.

Grant abides by her wishes and moves her into Meadowlake. To his dismay, the residence has a first 30 days "no visitor" policy. Not only will they be living apart, but he can’t see her, talk to her, or observe her. Throughout this main narrative, a second story plays out as Grant and another woman named Marian (Olympia Dukakis) have coffee. They seem to be just making small talk, but underneath the mundane chit chat lies a careful negotiation. Grant seems to be asking something of Marian, but what?

Jason Knight as YOUNG GRANT; Stacey LaBerge as YOUNG FIONA

Grant abides through the 30 days, doing his best to keep occupied. Then, like a breathless lover, he begins coming every day to visit his wife bearing flowers. But the greatest wound of all is to come: Fiona treats him with distance and detachment. During her first month, she has attached to another male patient named Aubrey (Michael Murphy). Even when her husband comes to visit, she refuses to leave Aubrey's side. Grant is now away from her in heart, as well as in body. There’s no timed policy he can count on for this to end.

Grant watches with outrage, anger, confusion, pain, and finally humble acceptance at this new turn of events. He wonders if she’s punishing him or if Aubrey is the problem. Each time he tries to interfere or force an outcome, his efforts flop miserably. Still, he chooses to keep visiting her. He sits on a couch to the side, almost like a parent watching a son or daughter when they start preschool.

This separation gives Grant the space to begin remembering times he failed Fiona as a husband and partner. He wonders how he can care for her better in these days – not to force an outcome, but to do what’s best for her. His growth finally compels him to take drastic action, but he needs Marian to execute his plan. 

Gordon Pinsent as GRANT; Julie Christie as FIONA in AWAY FROM HER

As Grant takes his focus on his needs and onto his wife’s, I couldn’t help thinking of the perfect love of Christ for us. We are taught He loves us and wants us to love Him in return, but he never forces Himself upon us. He waits patiently for us to recognize that His arms are the best place we can be.

"You could have just driven away. Just driven away without a care in the world. And forsook me. Forsooken me. Forsaken," she says.

"Not a chance," he replies. 

Sarah Polley directed Away from Her early in her career. It’s her first feature-length film and belongs to the school of naturalism. Cinematographer Luc Montpellier only uses natural daylight. The life the couple enjoys in the Canadian landscapes – one of freedom and expanse -- contrasts with the sickly pale glow of all-indoor living at the facility. The focus of the film is the performances of the cast, who are all tried-and-true Canadian talents. But it’s done in such a realistic way you forget you are watching a film. The curtain of protection film offers is lifted, leaving only a raw, uncomfortable feeling for anyone who has ever experienced a loved one with dementia.

Seeing AWAY FROM HER for the first time remains one of my most emotionally exhausting experiences. But with each repeat viewing, I admire the care Polley took in making this story as much like real life as possible and not letting style or aesthetics be the focus.